


This Side of the Sky

by darkbetweenthestars



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Complete, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Requited Love, Slow Burn, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29253486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkbetweenthestars/pseuds/darkbetweenthestars
Summary: Modern-day Hogwarts during a production of Romeo & Julius, where Sirius is playing Romeo and Remus is a lighting designer. Antics and romance ensue :)
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 155
Kudos: 126





	1. Friday Before

**Prologue**

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is known for having a mind of its own. With its moving staircases and various rooms that appear and disappear based on a person’s needs, it wasn’t really a shock when Minerva McGonagall took a wrong turn one day and found herself in a hallway she’d never seen before. It was long, but brightly lit, and a single set of red double doors sat at the end of it.

What lay on the other side of those double doors was interesting, to say the least. An auditorium was certainly not what McGonagall expected to find - although she wasn’t surprised to learn that it was decked out with the latest muggle technology. It _was_ the 21st century, after all, and the lines between the muggle world and the wizarding one were starting to blur. iPhones still weren’t allowed at Hogwarts, though. Neither were pens. They had to draw the line somewhere.

But, regardless, the auditorium was beautiful. A large stage protruding from the front with lush red curtains hanging shut to conceal it. A backstage hallway hidden behind and a room for actors to make quick costume changes while they rush from one side of the stage to the other. A swath of red audience seats to match the color of the curtain, divided into three sections by two sets of stairs leading up to the back of the house. And at the very top of those stairs, a place most special. A small room lined with a machinery-filled counter and a window that allowed whoever was inside to see the entire auditorium. A tech booth.

Minerva McGonagall smiled to herself. It was time for something Howarts had never seen before in the history of the school: an entire production put on without magic. And she had just the play in mind.

**Friday - 6:26 pm**

“What light through yonder window breaks . . . I’m sorry, I can’t fucking _see_. Oi! Moony!”

The entire cast of _Romeo and Julius_ groans in frustration as Sirius Black storms off the stage and begins marching up the audience steps. At the top of said steps he turns a corner and flings open the door of the tech booth, pausing for a moment as his eyes adjust to the small, dim room. A counter full of beeping machines lines the bottom of a window that overlooks the entire auditorium, and two teenagers dressed all in black are sitting before the machines, talking into headsets.

Sirius crosses his arms. "Moony, I know you’re the lighting designer and your word is gospel to the rest of these clowns, but my spotlight is too damn bright and I can't fucking _see_ -" 

His sentence falls short as the boy he’s addressing turns to look at him, revealing curly brown hair and a face riddled with scars. One through his right eyebrow, two tearing their way down his cheek, and a long, jagged rip bridging his nose. 

“Did you say something about lighting?” the boy asks, slipping off his headset so that it hangs casually around his neck.

Sirius’ chin angles upwards slightlye. "Yes. My spotlight is far too bright.”

Remus stares at Sirius for another few seconds, and then pivots back to his board. He adjusts a slide, and through the window Sirius can see his spotlight get visibly dimmer. The boy looks back at him and arches a scarred eyebrow. "That good enough for you, Romeo?"

Sirius bristles at the nickname, but nods. "Yes. Thank you." He pivots and makes his way out of the tech booth, closing the door behind him. 

Inside, a girl with long red hair and a multitude of freckles slips off her headset as well, turning away from her sound board to address Remus. “What did Sirius want?”

Remus’s mouth pulls into a thin line. “His spotlight was too bright.”

Lily almost laughs. “A drama queen, that one.” She begins to slip her headphones back on, but Remus puts his hand momentarily on her shoulder to stop her.

“Help me prank him,” he says.

Lily’s mouth quirks into a smile.

**9:24 pm**

Back in the Gryffindor common room, Remus and Lily sit on the faded red couch, pouring over an open textbook as the fire crackles before them.

“Oi, Evans! How was rehearsal?”

Remus and Lily crane their heads to see a boy with warm brown skin and a mess of dark hair descending the staircase that leads to the boy’s dormitories. He pushes his round glasses up his nose and flashes Remus a brilliant smile. James.

“Rubbish. McGonagall gave me detention for ‘improper language’.” Sirius announces from the opposite side of the room, having just caught James’ question as he was climbing in through the portrait hole. “Where’s Peter?”

Remus quickly shuts the textbook he had open, receiving a knowing look from Lily as she does the same with her own. 

“Sleeping already. And that’s rough, mate, but I was talking to Evans.” James plops down on one of the armchairs adjacent to the couch.

Lily rolls her eyes. “Sirius was a bit of a dick to Remus, if I’m honest.”

James raises his eyebrows. “That true, Moony?”

Remus shrugs. “It’s not just me. Yesterday he had a bout with someone in the costume department about the size of his pants, and the day before that he argued with a stagehand about the placement of a prop. He’s been making his rounds.”

Sirius hops over the back of the couch and lands next to Remus, jostling both him and Lily. “I will not apologize for being detail-oriented.”

Remus sneered. “Detail-oriented? _Diva_ -oriented, maybe.”

James and Lily burst into laughter, and Sirius elbows Remus in the side. 

“It’s a lot of pressure, being the lead in a show!” Sirius insists, running a hand through his hair. “Face it. Not everyone can be Romeo.”

“Maybe so, but I’m sure there are many Romeos who would have been less picky about the brightness of their spotlight,” Remus muses, elbowing him back.

Sirius rolls his eyes. “I seriously doubt it.”

“Well I remusly doubt _you_.”

“Oh, shut up.”

The conversation carries on like this for a bit, with Remus, Sirius, and Lily swapping theatre stories for James’ quidditch ones. Eventually Sirius and James make their way up to bed, while Lily and Remus make excuses to stay up later.

“Tomorrow’s rehearsal is going to be fantastic,” Lily states, nodding her head with certainty.

Remus grins as he flips back to the _Hexes and Jinxes_ chapter of his textbook. “Indeed it is.”

**11:00 pm**

“Oi! Everyone up! It’s time.”

Remus’ eyes flutter open at the sound of James’ voice. He sits up in bed and swings his feet to the floor, pulling his bedside curtain open. It’d been so long since the marauders had united to pull a prank. “Should I change into my robes or are pajamas fine?”

James smiles cheekily at him. “Depends on how confident you are that we won’t get caught.”

**11:12 pm**

In the end they decided to do everything in their pajamas, as a sort of act of faith. If they acted as though there was no possible way in which they could fail, perhaps they could fool the universe into behaving as such. But because they were nearing the end of their sixth year, they knew they could no longer fit under James’ cloak all together, and elected to work in shifts. Peter insisted on going with James for phase one of the plan, which meant Sirius and Remus stayed up in the dormitory, enacting phase two.

“Have you got all the ingredients?” Sirius whispers, hopping up onto Remus’ bed as soon as the door swings shut behind James and Peter.

Remus nods, rolling over to the edge of the mattress and reaching under his bed for the pouches full of things he’d snatched from the potions classroom. “Ashes from something recently burnt, the petals of a flame flower, and the whisker of a dog - locally sourced,” he jokes, nudging Sirius with his foot.

“This better be worth it - that bloody hurt.” Sirius rubs the side of his face, as though he can still feel it.

“Trust me . . .” Remus smiles, dropping each of the ingredients into a vial of solution, corking it, and then shaking it vigorously. “It will be.”

**11:21 pm**

Phases one and two of the prank were complete. The house elves had all fallen asleep, thanks to a few slumber spells performed by James and Peter, and the potion had been brewed - which meant that it was time for Remus and Sirius to enact phase three. 

It’s a bit claustrophobic under the cloak as the two of them shuffle through the castle hallways. In order for them to fit, Sirius’ chest has to press up against Remus’ back, and for unknown reasons this makes it very difficult for Remus to concentrate on where he’s going.

“It’s left, not right,” Sirius corrects him for the second time, lightly grabbing Remus’ arm and pulling him in the opposite direction. “You _are_ holding the map, aren’t you?”

Remus can feel the other boy’s breath on the back of his neck. He looks down at the map in his hands. “I am. Sorry.” 

They finally arrive at the castle kitchens, moving through the cooking rooms and emerging into a large chamber that sits directly below the Great Hall and is, in all honesty, nearly identical to it. Four large tables stretch their way across the massive room, already decked out with tomorrow’s breakfast. 

What so few people know about cooking at Hogwarts is that each meal is made as soon as the last has concluded, and the already prepared food sits in the kitchens, magically preserved until it’s time to teleport everything into the Great Hall. What even fewer people know is that the meals are arranged in the exact order that they will appear on the tables upstairs. Which means that if someone sits at the same seat every single day - like a certain Snivellus, perhaps - one could possibly find out exactly which goblet will be sitting in front of them when breakfast arrives tomorrow morning.

Remus removes the cloak, letting it envelope Sirius alone as he tiptoes to the table that aligns with Slytherin’s. He starts at one end and counts the goblets as he walks the length of it, stopping at number twenty-seven. He then does this a second time, making sure he has precisely the right goblet, before adding his concoction to the orange juice already inside. “The acidity should cover up the taste of the brew,” he says quietly.

Silence is the only response he gets.

Remus turns and scans the room, trying to do the impossible and see where his friend is hiding beneath the cloak. “Padfoot?” A hand grabs his shoulder, and he jumps, spinning around and nearly crying out in surprise. 

Sirius’ laughter fills the room as he throws the cloak back over Remus’ head, grinning all the while. “Sorry, Moony. I had to.”

Remus lets out an exasperated breath and gives Sirius a playful shove. ‘You really didn’t.”

“Yes I did,” Sirius says, winking at him.

Remus swallows and averts his gaze.


	2. Saturday

**Saturday - 8:22 am**

The marauders were sat in their usual places at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, waiting for Snivellus to arrive for breakfast at exactly 8:30 am, like he did every Saturday morning. Anyone who had studied their behavior during past pranks would be able to tell they were waiting for something, as each of them had a certain tell, but the truth was that the rest of the Hogwarts student body didn’t pay the marauders nearly as much attention as the four boys thought they did. And what are these tells, you may well be asking?

Whenever James’ hands aren’t occupied, he’s running his fingers through his hair. This doesn’t tend to seem suspicious, as it’s a mannerism that he maintains through all situations, but waiting for the results of a prank to unfold certainly amplifies its frequency. 

Peter can’t seem to stop hiccuping, and no amount of toast that he shoves into his mouth is able to stop it.

Sirius prides himself on being cool and collected, but in reality he has the worst poker face of the lot. He grins like an idiot unless something provides an adequate distraction.

And Remus can never seem to keep his eyes focused on one thing. Instead, they dart around the room, searching for people that might inexplicably know what’s about to happen, and that he’s somehow connected to it. 

And that’s what the four of them look like on this fine Saturday morning, as Remus watches Snape enter the Great Hall and take his usual seat at the Slytherin table, immediately downing his goblet of orange juice before digging into the feast. 

Just then Lily arrives for breakfast with Mary and Marlene, taking their own usual seats beside the marauders.

“Good morning!” Lily greets Remus as she sits down beside him and reaches forwards to scoop some scrambled eggs onto her plate.

“Morning,” Remus nods in response, glancing at her briefly.

Sirius leans over and whispers in his ear, “How long does it take to kick in?”

Remus shrugs, and mutters back, “A few minutes, usually, but you have to remember that it was sitting out all night. It may not behave normally.”

“What are you boys whispering about?” Mary calls over, twirling a dark ringlet around her finger. “Secrets, secrets, are no fun, unless you share with everyone!”

“Well they wouldn’t be secrets anymore if you shared them,” Marlene points out, pulling her long blonde hair back into a ponytail. Mary rolls her eyes.

“Nothing that concerns you,” Sirius answers, smiling down at his silverware. Remus’ eyes bounce from one face to the next as James runs a hand through his hair. Peter hiccups.

Lily narrows her eyes at them. ‘They’re planning someth-”

A coughing fit erupts from the opposite side of the hall, and the four boys crane their heads to see as Snape shoots to his feet at the Slytherin table. He coughs over and over and over, and then takes a deep breath - as though he’s about to sneeze - but when he exhales to cough again a swath of fire emits from his mouth. Slytherin students shriek and trip over themselves in their attempts to get away as the cloth on their table ignites.

“Oh, _shit_.” James blurts, getting to his feet as the rest of the Hogwarts student body erupts into chaos. “Didn’t expect that to happen.”

“Are the four of you daft?!” Lily all but shouts over the sounds of students crying out in panic. “You made him breathe fire, and didn’t expect that he could burn down the school?”

Remus looks frantically about as a few professors rush forwards from their table to put out the blaze, and attempt to calm the remaining students. Now that the coughing seems to have subsided, one of the Slytherin prefects steps forwards gingerly and attempts to lead Snivillus to what one could only assume is the hospital wing. As he leaves, however, he shoots one menacing look over his shoulder at the Gryffindor table, making direct eye contact with each of the marauders as he does so. 

Sirius smiles and waves.

“I could give you four a month’s detention for this,” Lily snaps, pointing aggressively at her prefect badge.

“You could,” James shrugs, taking his seat again and tucking back into his meal as though nothing strange had happened, “but you have no proof it was us. And, as your fellow prefect, you know I’d never do such a dastardly thing.” He smiles at her, and she only crosses her arms in response.

Marlene blows a tuft of hair out of her face as she sits back down as well. “Remind me never to cross you lot.”

Peter hiccups through his mouthful of toast.

**3:00 pm**

"Tech week has officially begun!" Professor McGonagall announces. The crowd of cast and crew sitting on the stage before her cheers and whoops excitedly, and she smiles. "I am positive that this production of _Romeo and Julius_ will be an incredible success, because I know that each and every one of you will work your hardest throughout this entire week - yes?"

A chorus of "ehhh"s radiates from the crowd, and McGonagall laughs.

"Well, I'm happy to be your director nonetheless. However, before we begin today’s rehearsal, there's something I want to do first." She begins to pace the length of the stage - something that always happens when she’s about to lecture. "There is one characteristic in particular that will make any production a success, no matter whether the sound cues are on time or the lines are memorized. Can anyone guess what that is?"

"Determination," someone calls out.

McGonegall nods. "That's a good trait, yes, but not the one I was hoping for."

"Work ethic!"

"Not quite," She stops pacing and stands at the center of the stage. "One more guess."

"Trust."

"That's it!" McGonagall’s face lights up, as if she genuinely didn't expect anyone to guess correctly. "Who said that?"

Remus raises his hand to a barely noticeable height.

"Mr. Lupin! Could you elaborate on that?"

Remus shrugs, scratching the back of his neck with one hand. "Everyone has their own set of tasks, and if we don't trust one another to get them done, then we'll be too focused on everyone else's jobs to do our own."

McGonagall beams. "Precisely! And the groups that have the hardest time trusting each other are the cast and crew - which is why today we're going to perform a little trust exercise."

A series of groans rise up from the crowd of students, and McGonagall shakes her head, making tsk sounds with her mouth. "Your unwillingness to cooperate only further proves my point. Follow me!" And with that, she picks up a large plastic container and marches through the auditorium’s side door, a group of sluggish teenagers trailing behind.

Upon gathering on the other side of the door, the students notice that the usually pristine hallway that connects the auditorium to the rest of the castle has been ruptured and morphed in numerous places, with chunks of floor sticking upright in some areas and sinking downwards in others. 

McGonagall sets her plastic container down on the ground and waits for the quiet murmurs of confusion to settle into silence. 

"Why’s the hallway all messed up?" A tall boy with cropped blond hair asks.

"I'm getting to that, Mr. Davis." McGonagall leans down and pops off the lid of the plastic bin, revealing a pile of cloth bandanas. She then addresses the crowd before her. "I am going to divide you all into pairs - a member of the cast, and a member of the crew. One of you will be blindfolded, and the other has the job of guiding their counterpart down the hallway. The guide is allowed only to speak - they cannot physically maneuver their blindfolded partner. Once this task is completed, the blindfold will be transferred to the other partner and the process will be repeated with the roles reversed.”

There was a bit of discontented mumbling at this explanation, but all of that was silenced by McGonagall’s glare. "Now remember, this is to help you gain trust in one another, so please keep the bickering to a minimum." She reaches down to grab one of the bandanas, and begins calling out the names of the predetermined teams.

Remus zones out as he looks over the professor’s shoulder at the path between himself and the opposite end of the hallway, taking note of all the places where the wall juts out or the floor caves in slightly. His attention is called back, however, at the sound of his friend’s name.

"Sirius Black," McGonagall calls out, "I'm sure everyone here is aware of your little lighting rampage yesterday - which is why today, your partner is Remus Lupin."

A short-lived laugh comes from the back of the crowd, and Remus turns to see that it emanated from none other than Sirius himself. “Remus and I are best mates - of course we trust each other.”

"Your behavior yesterday proved otherwise - the entire point of this exercise is to guarantee that nothing like that happens again. I would actually like you to start by apologizing to Mr. Lupin for what happened yesterday."

Sirius’ mouth drops open, but he only looks baffled for a moment before his cool exterior washes back over him. He turns to Remus and bows. “I’m deeply sorry, Moony, your majesty, god of the lighting board. I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Remus tries his hardest not to smile. He shrugs. "It's whatever."

McGonagall seems to begrudgingly accept this as an adequate apology, handing a red bandana to Sirius. She then and continues to announce the rest of the groups while Sirius and Remus move off to the side with the other already-assigned partners.

Sirius folds the red cloth corner to corner and holds it up to his face, attempting to knit it at the back of his head. A good ten seconds later, however, he's still struggling with it.

"Do you need help?" Remus prompts cautiously.

"Of course not," Sirius scoffs, his head aimed slightly to the right of where Remus is actually standing. "Don't be ridiculous."

Another ten seconds pass, and the shade of Sirius’ face seems to be growing increasingly closer to the color of the cloth that’s obscuring it.

Remus finally throws up his hands. "Just let me do it." He steps up behind Sirius and takes the ends of the cloth from him, repositioning the blindfold slightly before tying it in seconds. "There."

"What the-" Sirius reaches up to feel the knot, his face an expression of disbelief. "How did you do that so fast?"

Remus shrugs, then remembers Sirius can't see him, and smiles. "My fingers are rather nimble - unlike yours, which resemble uncooked sausages." 

Sirius smirks and opens his mouth to respond - likely with a lewd remark about the other things fingers are good for - but McGonagall begins talking again before he has the chance. 

"Guides, aim your blindfolded partners towards their destination. Please remember that this is a trust exercise, and not a competition. On that note, get ready to start in three, two, one!"

"Okay," Remus begins once Sirius is facing the correct direction, "You’ve got a clear area ahead of you, so you should be able to take five good steps forwards without any sort of trouble."

Sirius takes about three steps forwards before whacking his shoulder on a candelabra that’s protruding from the wall.

"Agh!" he yelps, jolting backwards and knocking into Remus.

"Sorry!" Remus blurts, steadying Sirius with his hands. "Are you okay?"

Sirius swats blindly at Remus's outstretched arms. "I'm fine. Maybe just do your job next time."

"I'm trying!" Remus protests. "This isn't easy."

"Oh, please." Sirius scoffs. "How hard could it be?"

**3:27 pm**

"This. Is. Impossible." Sirius deadpans, just after having directed Remus into one of the other blindfolded people. 

Again. 

"I told you!" Remus snaps, hoping that he's facing Sirius's general direction.

"Whatever," Sirius mumbles. "The floor caves in about three steps in front of you."

"Okay." Remus takes a single step, and his stomach plummets as his foot drops far further than expected. The shock causes him to stumble, but just before he loses his balance completely, a pair of arms catch him and maneuver him back up onto his feet.

Remus crosses his arms. "Three steps?"

He can hear Sirius let out a breath of annoyance. "It's not my fault you have freakishly long legs."

Remus balls his hands into fists, ready to retaliate; but then he remembers that this activity is supposed to _build_ trust - not tear it apart. He takes a deep breath and grits his teeth. "Thank you for catching me."

It's silent for a moment, and Remus wonders what expression Sirius is wearing on his face.

". . . You're welcome."

**4:02 pm**

About half an hour later, the exercise is long since complete and everything’s just about ready for rehearsal to begin. Remus and Lily are climbing the auditorium steps on their way to the tech booth, discussing how their individual partners had done.

“Devin Davis is an idiot,” Lily says bluntly, and Remus almost trips on one of the steps.

“Did I just hear you insult someone other than James Potter?”

Lily scoffs and nudges him with her elbow as they reach the top of the stairs and enter the booth. “I’m serious - the boy’s head is empty. He steered me directly into the wall at one point. How he scored a leading role is beyond me.”

Remus is quiet for a moment as he takes his seat in front of his lighting board, and Lily begins setting up her laptop, which is loaded with sound cues. “He’s the Hufflepuff playing Julius, right?”

She nods, scrolling up to the top of the cue list to get ready for a runthrough of the show.

Remus is only able to hold in his question for a few moments more. “Do you think they’ll do a stage kiss?”

Lily looks up at him. “A what?”

Remus demonstrates, holding out his hands so his thumbs align. “It’s when you cup someone’s face like this, but you put your thumbs over their mouth so it only looks like you’re kissing them, but really you’re kissing your own thumbs.”

“Not sure why you’d do that when you could just kiss them for real.” Lily’s reddish eyebrows draw together as an amused expression comes over her face. “Why do you care, anyway? Doesn’t affect you.”

Remus tries to shrug nonchalantly, wondering the same thing himself. “Just feel bad that Sirius might have to kiss Devin, is all.” Yeah. That’s probably it.

Lily shudders. “Oh, I’d hate that. I’d rather kiss Potter.”

“Oh really?” Remus leans forwards and wiggles his eyebrows at her.

“That was me insulting him, by the way.”

“Sure.”

Lily rolled her eyes, then perked up as her attention is caught by something through the booth’s massive window. “I think they’re about to begin. Did you enchant the right spotlight?”

“I did.” Remus sits up a bit straighter, following Lily’s gaze to where the actors are setting up for the top of the show. He looks at Lily, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “It’s go time.”

4:16 pm

No one knew what was happening at first.

The beginning of scene one was running smoothly, but just as Sirius struts onstage to make his first appearance as Romeo, a strange purple spotlight flickers on, engulfing only him.

The other actors and members of the crew look on with furrowed eyebrows at this light that’s so out of place, and can’t fault Sirius for freezing mid-step - he must be just as confused as they are.

But then he starts to dance.

It’s more of a jig, really. All fancy footwork, with no arm movements whatsoever.

“Mr. Black!” Professor McGonagall is on her feet in an instant, shouting at him from the front row of the audience. “Stop this nonsense immediately!”

The purple light disappears, and Sirius is left standing there, dumbstruck and confused. He opens his mouth several times and finally decides not to say anything at all. But when he tries to take another single step forwards, the purple light appears again, and the jig commences. 

“Moony, you prick!” Sirius yells as the cast and crew burst into laughter.

By now McGonagall has put two and two together, and begins marching up the auditorium steps, waving her wand in the direction of the ceiling. At once, Sirius’ spotlight shifts from purple to it’s usual warm white, and the professor bursts into the tech booth to find Lily and Remus simply dying of laughter.

“Mr. Lupin - you’ve just earned yourself detention with Mr. Black on Monday morning. Perhaps you need to learn to respect the cast just as much as he must learn to respect the crew. No more jinxing the lighting fixtures. Have I made myself clear?”

Remus nods respectfully, but the moment the professor is gone and the booth door swings shut, he and Lily explode into fits of laughter yet again. Remus wipes tears from his eyes as he peers down through the window at Sirius, who’s red in the face and fervently flipping him off now that he has control of his body again. He angles his chin upwards and mouths three words that Remus can only barely make out.

_This means war._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment and make my day :)


	3. Sunday

**Sunday - 12:36 pm**

“Can’t believe we have rehearsal on both days of our weekend,” Sirius grumbles at lunch on Sunday afternoon. “Where did all my freetime go?”

“It’s no different than being on a quidditch team, really,” James points out. “We practice on weekends, too.”

“See, _this_ is why I don’t do extracurriculars,” Mary says. “I prefer my weekends _wide_ open.”

“And why’s that?” Sirius asks cheekily. “So you can make appointments to snog random boys in broom closets?”

Mary glances slyly at him. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” Marlene and Lily share an eyeroll as their friend grins over her goblet. 

“We _do_ know,” Marlene says. 

“In excruciating detail,” Lily adds.

Sirius only leans forward on his elbows. “I don’t mind listening, Mary.”

“Oh _please_ ,” Mary waves her hand dismissively. “Go get your porn somewhere else, Black.”

Remus nearly spits out his orange juice, but Sirius only grins back at her without missing a beat. “Fine,” he says. “ I will.”

“Is this really something we should be discussing over breakfast, with the ears of the entire school surrounding us?” James asks.

“My thoughts exactly,” pipes up Peter.

Marlene shrugs. “I don’t see a problem with it.” Her eyes light up. “Ooh, let’s share first kiss stories! I’ll start. Mine was second year, with a Ravenclaw boy I met in charms class. He sure charmed me.”

Everyone laughs, and Marlene bumps James’ shoulder with her own. “Your turn.”

James pauses, glancing briefly at Lily. “It was fourth year, with a Hufflepuff girl who was very taken by my being on the quidditch team during one of our victory parties. Think she only liked me for the uniform. Way too much tongue.”

Sirius snorts. “You can never have too much tongue.”

“I’d beg to differ,” James insists.

“I’d go next,” Lily smiles shyly, “but unfortunately, that’s classified information.”

Mary and Marlene’s heads shoot upwards at once. “You mean to tell me that you had your first kiss and didn’t immediately tell us about it?” Mary looks affronted by this, whereas Marlene just sits in a surprised silence. 

Lily tips her head coyly to one side. “Perhaps. But that’s a conversation for a later date. It’s Mary’s turn.”

Mary narrows her eyes at Lily for a moment, but eventually gives in and twists her mouth to one side, thinking for a bit. “. . . I honestly can’t remember.”

Lily gawks at her. “Genuinely?”

Mary grins. “I’ve had so many, I can’t remember the first.”

“Same here, if I’m honest,” Sirius says, scratching his head.

Remus looks back and forth between the two of them. How different they were from himself. Snogging, Remus had decided long ago, was reserved for fictional characters and casual people - of which Remus was neither. 

“Moony?” Sirius’ voice snaps him out of his thoughts. “Don’t think you’ve ever talked about your first kiss before.”

Remus takes a moment to study his silverware, feeling all of his friends’ eyes on him at once. “That’s because it hasn’t happened yet.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“That’s alright, Remus!” James enthuses.

Mary nods. “Bit of a late bloomer, maybe, but nothing wrong with-”

“Mary!” Marlene scolds, backhanding her friend on the arm.

“What?! I said there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“I’m sure you’ll find the right girl soon enough,” Lily says sweetly, patting him on the shoulder.

“Right.” Remus mutters. 

And so, being the good friends they are, they change the subject, leaving Remus to mull over the newly presented fact that he’s simply not like the rest of his friends. All they seem to talk about these days is snogging or sex or porn - three things Remus honestly wants nothing to do with. Girls just never interested him - which probably meant something . . . but Remus never let himself think about it for long enough to confront that fact. He preferred being on his own, anyway. It was hard enough dealing with the emotions and thoughts of one person. He couldn’t imagine having to handle double the load.

Remus looks up at the people sitting around him, wondering why he doesn’t seem to feel like a normal teenager, and catches Sirius watching him. The other boy looks back down at his food, a strange expression on his face.

Remus sighs inwardly. Great. Sirius must think he’s a freak.

**5:59 pm**

“Thank you all for a wonderfully productive rehearsal today. I know working on the weekends is less than ideal, but we certainly needed the extra time, and used it to its fullest. You’re all free to journey into Hogsmeade and catch up with the rest of your classmates, starting . . ." McGonagall checks her pocket watch, "now!”

Sirius pops his head up through the open tech booth window, resting his chin on the edge of the lighting board. "Hey, Moony."

Lily nearly drops her headset, and Remus yelps, "Bloody hell!" kicking away from the table in surprise and accidentally rolling his chair backwards into the mic cabinet.

Sirius winces at the sound of metal on metal, but recovers quickly. "Sorry to startle you. Ready to head into Hogsmeade? James and Peter are saving us a table at the Three Broomsticks. You’re coming too, right Evans?”

Lily only smiles coyly. “I promised Mary and Marlene I’d meet them at Honeydukes. Sorry to disappoint.”

Sirius shakes his head. “Oh, I’m not the one who’ll be disappointed. You’re breaking my boy Potter’s heart.”

“Good,” Lily states smugly. “He could stand to be humbled just a bit.”

**6:23pm**

“She really said that?” James asks in response to Remus and Sirius’ explanation as to why Lily was not joining them. “I’m plenty humble!”

Remus was trying not to smile. “I mean, you do get a bit big-headed about being captain of the quidditch team.”

James looks at him incredulously. “Of course I do! It’s an honor and a privilege.” 

Remus raises his hands defensively. “I’m sure it is.”

Sirius abruptly finishes his butterbeer and slams the glass down on the table as though it’s a shot glass. Remus wonders if he knows they aren’t alcoholic. “Another round?”

The other three boys look down at their own glasses, none of which are even half empty. 

“You feeling alright, Sirius?” Peter pipes up.

Sirius glares pointedly at Remus. “Today one of the Ravenclaws in the ensemble told me it’s a shame we’re not doing a musical. Said my dance moves were unmatched.”

Remus snorts mid-sip, butterbeer almost shooting out his nose. 

James only shakes his head, grinning. “I wish I was there to see it. A brilliant idea, Moony.”

Remus gives a small bow. “Thank you, thank you.”

“If you think that it ends there, you’re wrong,” Sirius grunts, coming back from having fetched another drink for himself. “I _will_ get you back for it when you least expect it. Not sure what exactly I’m going to do, though.” He grins cheekily, raising the glass halfway to his mouth. “Perhaps I’ll make you fall in love with me, then break your heart.”

This time the butterbeer _does_ shoot out of Remus’ nose, and he leans forwards, coughing and hacking while Sirius just sips his drink and watches in satisfied silence.

James pats Remus on the back and looks like he’s trying not to smile. “Must be nice to swing both ways. Perhaps I wouldn’t be so smitten with Evans if I had double the dating pool.”

Sirius shakes his head, smiling now as well. “Something tells me you’d still be just as taken with her.” His eyes flicker back to Remus, who seems to have recovered from drowning in Butterbeer. “But I don’t think our Moony’s ever so much as mentioned his sexuality, now that I think of it.”

Remus shrugs and looks at the three boys staring back at him, unsure as to why his romantic experience is suddenly the topic of conversation for the second time that day. “Not really anybody’s business but mine, I reckon.”

“I respect that,” James nods encouragingly, and places a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “But if you do ever want to talk about it, we’re here.”

Remus nods. “Cheers.”

Sirius takes another gulp of butterbeer, eyeing Remus over the rim of the glass.

“Sirius! Hey!” a voice calls out from the other side of the establishment, and Remus looks up to see Devin Davis, the tall hufflepuff with cropped blonde hair, making his way over to their table. “Mind if I join you blokes?”

“Not at all!” Sirius answers for the rest of them, scooting over.

The table they’re sitting at is only meant to have one person on each of its four sides, but Devin doesn’t seem to mind squishing his chair right up against Sirius’ in order to make do.

“Devin, this is Remus, James, and Peter,” Sirius gestures to all of them collectively, and then to each in turn. “Remus is the lighting designer for the show, James is the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, and Peter is . . . well, he’s Peter.”

Peter doesn’t seem to find this an insult, and beams with pride.

Sirius then gestures to the only Hufflepuff at the table. “Everyone, this is Devin; he’s playing-”

“Julius,” Remus finishes for him. “I’ve heard.” Sirius gives Remus a strange look, but nods.

Devin smiles. “What were you all talking about before I so rudely interrupted?”

“We were discussing how I’m going to get Remus back when he least expects it.” Sirius answers, looking at Remus through narrowed eyes. 

“Oh yeah?” Devin’s smile widens to reveal a row of perfect white teeth. He nudges Sirius slightly with his shoulder. “Remind me never get on your bad side, Black.”

“You better not. That would make it very difficult to pretend I’m in love with you.” Sirius leans back in his chair and runs a hand through his unruly hair, suddenly seeming as though he’s trying too hard to look casual.

“Oh, right.” Devin rolls his eyes and makes air quotes with his fingers. “‘Pretend’.”

“Shut up!” Sirius laughs, shoving Devin’s shoulder lightly.

The other boys have mixed responses to this interaction. Peter’s looking politely at something on the floor, James is watching them with a kind of sly expression, and Remus’ eyes keep flicking from Sirius to Devin and then back again. Remus wonders absentmindedly if their knees are touching under the table, and contemplates dropping his napkin so he can bend down and see. He stops that train of thought immediately, though, wondering why on earth he even cares.

James leans forwards, a coy smile tugging at his lips. “Are you two . . .?”

Sirius and Devin look over at the same time, as though they’d forgotten the other three were there. They begin talking over one another.

“Us? Oh, no-”

“What? Of course not-”

‘It’s just a role, Prongs-”

“Exactly, we’re just acting-”

“Okay, okay,” James holds up his hands in submission. “It was just a question.”

“Actually, I should start heading back,” Devin says, rising to his feet as he checks the watch strapped to his wrist. “Cheers for letting me sit with you guys, even if it was only for a few minutes!”

“Of course!” Sirius blurts, “Anytime!” He waves as Devin departs, perhaps continuing to wave for a bit longer than would be deemed normal. It’s only when Devin is mostly certainly gone that Sirius whips back around and plants his hands flat on the table. “What _was_ that, Prongs? Are you trying to ruin this for me?”

“I _knew_ it!” James yelps, that smug smile never having left his face. “You _do_ like him!”

“Of course I bloody like him - he’s hot!” Sirius presses his palms together. “I can’t believe I get to snog him onstage. It’s a miracle he was cast as Julius, truly.”

Remus suddenly feels as though there’s a stone sitting in his stomach.

“Are you going to ask him out?” Peter inquires.

“I can’t,” Sirius groans dramatically. “It’s never a good idea for the leads in a show to date. Causes too much drama, and if it doesn’t work out it could ruin the whole show. I’ll have to wait until the production is over.”

James nods, but doesn’t seem to be paying attention to Sirius anymore. Instead, he eyes Remus suspiciously. “You alright, Moony? Don’t think you’ve said a word in ten minutes.”

“Dunno,” Remus murmurs, placing a hand on his stomach. “Think my Butterbeer was a bit bad.”

“Oh, I hate when that happens,” James says earnestly. “Just drink some water - you’ll feel better right away. Trust me.”

“Yeah,” Remus smiles, his mouth a thin line. “I’m sure I will.”

**9:51 pm**

The boys return to their dorm that evening to find their beds absolutely crawling with cockroaches. Big ones, too, with shiny black bodies and spindly legs.

“ _Snivellus_ ,” James whispers menacingly, crossing his arms and shaking his head, almost reverently. “Got us good, he did.”

“Suits him, really,” Sirius muses, leaning casually against the door. “Always knew he was a bit of a roach.”

Remus, who had been so excited to flop down onto his big, comfy bed, stares at his insect-ridden covers with disdain. “How’d he even get inside the common room?”

James narrows his eyes. “Probably threatened a first year.”

“Where are we going to sleep?” Peter whines.

Sirius pushes off from the door and stalks forwards, grabbing his pillow and shaking a few insects off of it. “Sleepover in the common room, I reckon. We can ask McGonagall to get rid of them tomorrow - I’m too tired and too buzzed to deal with this right now.”

Remus’ brow furrows. “I thought you only had Butterbeer to drink tonight.”

Sirius smirks at him and pulls a small vial out of his jacket pocket, dangling it in front of him. It’s the prop that Romeo drinks from at the end of the play. “I fill it with whiskey to get me through rehearsal sometimes. Want some?”

Remus shakes his head.

**10:05 pm**

Fortunately, the insects had been unsuccessful in invading their trunks, so each boy was able to quickly change into their pajamas before making their way down to the common room. 

“I call the big couch!” Sirius calls out, bounding down the stairs ahead of them.

Remus is the last to get changed, and stands awkwardly at the bottom of the stairway as he surveys the scene before him. James and Peter have each claimed a respective armchair, seeming to be already asleep, while Sirius is sprawled out on the large, faded couch. Remus walks around it and lays his pillow on the floor, settling down onto the soft rug.

Sirius sits up. “Don’t be silly, mate. We can share.” He scoops up Remus’ pillow and places it on the side of the couch opposite his. “Actually - I don’t want your smelly feet in my face. Let’s do it like this.” He grabs the pillow and flumps it down next to his own. 

“You sure?” Remus asks, still sitting on the floor. “There doesn’t seem to be that much room . . .”

“Oh, get over it,” Sirius grins. “I’m not going to bite.” He grabs a blanket from the floor and spreads it over himself, holding one end open in anticipation.

“Says the _dog_ ,” Remus says cheekily, trying to conceal his nerves as scooches under the blanket with Sirius. “Have you been checked for fleas recently?”

Sirius scoffs. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“I’d take fleas over these scars any day.”

Sirius’ smile fades slightly, his eyes roaming Remus’ face. “I like your scars. They’re badass.”

Remus doesn’t know how to respond to this. No one’s ever complimented his scars before. “. . . Really?” he asks. He reaches a hand up towards his face, absentmindedly tracing the newest addition to his collection: a small slit through the corner of his mouth.

Sirius’ eyes follow this movement and linger there. His breath smells faintly of whiskey, and his voice is low. “Were you being honest, earlier today? You’ve really never snogged anyone?”

Remus shakes his head, swallowing nervously, and Sirius’ eyes track the movement of the throat. He finds himself asking a strange question. “. . .What’s it like?”

Sirius turns his head and stares up at the ceiling, taking a moment to contemplate this. “Well the best way to describe it, in completely foreign terms, is painting.” He pauses. “An experienced painter knows how much pressure to apply, where to apply it, and what brush to use. But that doesn’t make it any more fun than someone who’s just making lines on a canvas and filling in the blanks.” 

Remus has not been rendered speechless many times in his life, but in this moment he simply cannot think of anything to say. He lies there, watching the moonlight from the window spill across his friend’s face, and wonders if alcohol makes everyone this poetic, or if Sirius Black is simply like this all the time. Remus certainly wouldn’t mind seeing this side of him more often.

Sirius turns to look back at Remus. “It all comes down to pressure and brushstrokes, really.”

“. . .Wow,” is all Remus can think to say. “That was . . . kind of beautiful, Padfoot.”

“You don’t have to act so surprised.” Sirius arches a dark eyebrow, and then yawns. “Well - g’night, Moony,” he says, rolling over so that his back is to Remus. 

Remus hesitates, then rolls the opposite way, suddenly keenly aware of every single place their bodies are touching, and how warm it feels to be that way. “G’night, Padfoot.” He smiles to himself. _It’s like painting._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment and make my day :)


	4. Monday

**Monday - 7:02 am**

“Moony. _Moony_ , wake up.”

Remus’ eyes flutter open to see someone leaning over him, dark hair cascading downwards toward his face. His vision clears and he sees that it’s Sirius.

“Wake up, mate - we’ve got detention this morning, remember?”

Remus groans and pulls the blanket over his head.

“Trust me, I’d rather go back to sleep as well,” Sirius insists, “but I really don’t want to get on McGonagall’s bad side during tech week. So up and at ‘em.”

Snivellus’ cockroaches must have been magically conjured, and therefore had an expiration time, as they were completely gone when Remus and Sirius went back upstairs to change into their uniforms for the day. This discovery was much to Remus’ relief - he wasn’t sure his brain could handle another night on the couch with Sirius. He’d barely slept - too focused on the pressure of Sirius’ back against his own as the other boy inhaled and exhaled. He was so drowsy that he took a long time getting ready, and told Sirius to go on ahead without him.

**7:39 am**

"Moony - stop yawning," Sirius orders as he uses his brush to smear the silky white paint across the front of the balcony. "You're making me yawn too."

"I can't help it," Remus protests as he pauses in his own painting to stifle yet another yawn. "I didn’t sleep well on the couch last night."

Sirius scoffs. "That much is obvious."

Remus scowls at him. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

When Remus arrived at the auditorium earlier that morning, Sirius had immediately pointed out that he was rocking both a sloppy tie and a serious case of bedhead. 

Sirius reaches over and pats down one of Remus’ stuck up curls. "Oh, nothing."

Remus scoffs, ducking under Sirius’ arm to get away. "Yeah, well, you're the weird one for being able to act so normal this early in the morning."

Sirius shrugs. "I'm used to functioning on no sleep."

Remus' brows draw together, and he pauses mid-stroke. “Why's that?" Sirius falls silent, and Remus realizes he may have crossed a line. "You don't have to tell me if-"

"No, it's okay." Sirius cuts off Remus' outburst with a tight smile as he dips his brush back into the can of paint. "There’s a really wicked spell that lets you grow tired but doesn’t allow you to sleep. My mother used to use it as a form of punishment." 

Remus’ mouth opens and closes several times. “Thats _horrible_ , Padfoot. I’m so sorry.”

Sirius shrugs. “I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with it now that I’m living with the Potters.”

Remus nods, and slowly resumes painting. He often forgets about the horrors that Sirius experienced while living in his childhood home. “If you ever need to talk about that stuff, I’m here, y’know?” 

Sirius doesn’t answer right away, and Remus looks up to find the other boy watching him closely. "Thank you."

“Of course." He leans forward to add some finishing touches to the railing, and that’s when it happens.

When one is painting a set piece while sitting on the floor, one tends to hold their paintbrush in one hand and lean on the other for support. In this instance, Sirius and Remus each put their supporting hands in the exact same spot at nearly the exact same time - with Sirius’ landing on top of Remus’. For a single heartbeat, both boys freeze. Then, in a moment of panic, Remus rips his hand out from under Sirius’, unintentionally tipping Sirius forwards - and right against the wet balcony railing.

“You’ve _got_ to be kidding me,” Sirius says firmly, pulling away to reveal a fresh white stripe tattooed across the side of his Adam's apple. Remus's eyes linger on the muscles of Sirius' neck as the latter turns to look at him, smiling at him with an astonished look on his face.

"Sorry," Remus chuckles nervously.

Sirius grins and dips his thumb into the paint can, shaking his head. "You’re so dead." 

"Hey-!" Remus leans backwards and turns his head, causing the pad of Sirius' thumb - which was previously aiming for his cheek - to swipe across his bottom lip instead. Remus' breath catches, but Sirius just grins wickedly.

Without thinking, Remus takes his paintbrush and flicks tiny specks of white onto Sirius's nose. "There," he says to Sirius's flabbergasted expression. "Now you have freckles."

“Oh yeah?” Sirius lashes out with his own paintbrush, but this time Remus is faster and ducks out of the way, scoring another slash of white across Sirius’ neck. 

“I think I’m winning,” he declares smugly.

That’s when Sirius lunges at him, pushing Remus backwards and onto the floor with his hands pinned beside his head. He grins. “Who’s winning now?”

Remus tries to come up with a witty response, but all he can think about is how fast his heart is beating. Sirius’ face is so close to his own, and the other boy seems to be realizing this as well as the grin slowly fades from his face. Suddenly it’s like they’re back on the couch, Sirius’ breath warm on his skin as he explains how snogging is like painting. All about pressure and brushstrokes. 

Remus is brought back to the present moment as Sirius bites his lip, and then opens his mouth to say something - when suddenly the auditorium doors swing open.

Remus has never seen someone stand up faster than Sirius Black did just then. He himself barely has time to reach a sitting position before Lily Evans steps into the auditorium. 

“How was detention?” she asks, halting mid-step after fully processing their appearances. “Why do you guys have paint all over your faces?”

**11:47 am**

Fortunately, the boys were able to get cleaned up before McGonagall came to check on them, and were also able to avoid a second detention since they _had_ actually coated the balcony before their paint war began. The rest of the school day consisted of Remus trying not to fall asleep in class - which was exactly what he was trying to do right now, sitting in the back corner of the library with Lily, Mary, and Marlene. They were supposed to be revising, but the conversation soon turned from their upcoming Transfiguration exam to the party that the Gryffindors were hosting after opening night. It was originally meant to be a cast party, with the crew invited as well, but as soon as word got out that Gryffindor was hosting, everyone wanted to attend. They were a house known for their ragers. 

“I’m definitely going to wear those new hoop earrings that I got in Hogsmeade,” Mary says excitedly. “And that red dress that mum gave me for Christmas.”

“Goodness, Mary, it’s a cast party - not the yule ball,” Marlene teases. “I might show up in jeans and a t-shirt, if I’m honest.”

Mary rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “I wouldn’t expect anything else. What about you two?” She looks expectantly across the table at Lily and Remus.

Lily, thankfully, answers for both of them. “Remus and I have to wear all black for the show, but I might change into something else afterwards. Not sure.”

“Ooh, no, don’t change!” Mary enthuses. “ _Everyone_ looks hot in all black. It’s a fact of life.”

“That’s one thing we can agree on.” Marlene nods fervently. “Black looks good on everyone.”

Remus stops listening at the mention of Sirius’ last name, and instead starts replaying the events of that morning in his mind. It’s something his subconscious had been doing all day - reliving that silent moment they shared when Sirius had him pinned to the floor of the stage. What had he been about to say? What would have happened if Lily hadn’t interrupted them? It was driving him mad.

“Alright, Moony?”

Remus jolts upright in his seat, suddenly keenly aware that he’d been drifting off to sleep. Sirius stands at the end of the table, looking at him with an amused sort of expression that’s matched by Lily, Mary, and Marlene. 

“Sorry - did I catch you dozing off? Hope I didn’t ruin any good dreams.” Sirius winks at the four of them, and Marlene instantly blushes. Mary elbows her in the side, and Marlene swats her friend's arm in response. Sirius pretends not to notice, his smug smile widening slightly. Such a flirt.

“I was awake.” Remus says to break the silence. “Just thinking.”

“Bout what?”

Remus taps a quill against the edge of the desk, trying to think up some elaborate excuse. “Just . . . lighting stuff. Y’know.”

Sirius nods cooly, crossing his arms and leaning against a nearby bookcase. “Perfect segue, actually - I’m here because I need help rehearsing my lines.”

“Marlene will help you!” Mary blurts, earning a strong punch in the arm from her friend.

“Sorry ladies, but this is a job for Moony, and needs to be completed in an undisclosed location. I’m supposed to be in History of Magic right now, and I'm pretty sure Binns will force me to join him as a ghost if he finds me skipping class again.”

Remus chuckles at this. “Alright . . . where to?”

Sirius only responds by taking Remus’ arm, and the latter just barely has time to scoop up his bookbag and wave farewell to the girls before the former guides him through one of the library’s side entrances and out into a long castle hallway. For inexplicable reasons, Sirius breaks into a run, and Remus struggles to keep up. As the distance between them grows in size, Sirius’ hand slips down Remus’ arm until the two of them might as well be holding hands.

And the worst part? 

Remus likes it.

**12:03 pm**

"Why is this the rehearsal space you chose? I can't even see." Remus can hear Sirius let out an exasperated breath from a few feet in front of him, and then a single lightbulb flickers on with a faint click.

"There. Better?" Sirius gestures at the walls of the broom cupboard. The light is incredibly dim, making it so Remus can only just distinguish Sirius’ features.

"Not really." Remus crosses his arms, and his elbows take up the entire width of the room. Although it would be possible to fit one whole person between Sirius and him, Remus can't help but feel uneasy. "It's still pretty claustrophobic in here. Why can't we do this in the auditorium? Or even the booth?"

"Because," Sirius says, as though that single word contains a coherent explanation. "This is where Mary hosts her various snogging appointments, which means it’s a secure location that few people check on a regular basis. Therefore the perfect place to hide while skipping class.”

Remus chuckles and shakes his head. "Whatever. Just give me your script."

Sirius reaches into the back pocket of his jeans, and pulls out a thickly folded packet. He flips to a certain page, and then hands the script to Remus. "We'll start at the top; the first line is mine."

Remus nods, glancing over the page while he waits for Sirius to begin. What he doesn't expect is Sirius taking one of Remus's hands and holding it between his own. 

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand / This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this." Sirius starts tracing circles in the center of Remus's palm, and Remus feels his jaw muscles tighten. "My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand / To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

A beat of silence passes before Remus realizes that he is now supposed to speak. He stumbles through Julius' next line as his heart begins to beat faster. "Good - er - good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much / Which man - ma - mannerly devotion shows in this. / For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch / And palm to palm is holy palmers’ - er - kiss.”

"Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?" Sirius leans forward slightly, but in this cramped closet it feels like a lot. 

Remus swallows. "Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."

"O, then, dear saint, let lips do as hands do." Sirius lets go of Remus's hand, and presses his own palms together in the way that one does while praying; suggesting that he and Remus press their lips together in a similar fashion. Well - Romeo and Julius. Not Sirius and Remus. “They pray; grant thou, less faith turn to despair.”

Remus fumbles with the script as he turns the page. Why are his hands shaking? And why is it suddenly so hot in here? "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake."

Sirius leans forwards further, and Remus tries to scoot backwards, but his back only presses against the closet wall. Sirius' voice is low and smooth, and Remus can feel the boy’s warm breath against his lips. "Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take." Remus squeezes his eyes shut, bracing himself. There’s a moment of silence. "And then they kiss! End scene."

Remus's eyes open to see Sirius moving back into his original position against the far wall. He lets out a breath he must have been holding in anticipation of - of what? Did he honestly think Sirius was about to kiss him?

"Well," Sirius prompts, "what do you think?"

Remus is so very thankful that the closet’s dim lighting is obscuring how flushed his face must be. He swallows, begging his heart to stop beating so damn fast. "I think you're a _really_ good actor."


	5. Tuesday

**Tuesday - 1:24 am**

Remus couldn’t sleep. He’d been tossing and turning all night long, the same handful of phrases bouncing back and forth inside his head.

_“I like your scars. They’re badass.”_

_"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take."_

_“Of course I bloody like him - he’s hot!”_

Eventually he gives up, and sits upright in bed, swinging his feet over the side and placing them softly on the floor. He needs to take a walk to clear his head, and borrowing James’ cloak is the only way to do so without getting caught. 

Everything seems to be going smoothly, cloak in hand, until he accidentally shuts James’ trunk on his finger. A small whimper emanates from the back of his throat, against his will. 

“. . . Moony?”

Remus expects James to be the one to stir, and is surprised when instead Sirius’ curtain parts slightly to reveal a pale face with blue, angular eyes. “Sorry to wake you,” Remus whispers back.

Sirius waves a dismissive hand. “Can I come with?”

**1:28 am**

Their first year at Hogwarts, all four of them could fit under the cloak with room to spare. Now, towards the end of their sixth year, Remus and Sirius just barely fit, and have to press up against one another to avoid their ankles being shown.

“Where we headed?” Sirius whispers as they climb none-too-gracefully through the common room portrait hole. His breath is warm on the back of Remus’ neck.

“The astronomy tower?” Remus suggests, and Sirius nods his approval.

It takes them about twenty minutes to shuffle all the way out of the castle and across the grounds, Sirius’ chest pressed up against Remus’ back the whole way. Remus wonders if Sirius can feel how fast his heart is beating. What a counterproductive excursion this would be - planning to take a walk so as to stop thinking about Sirius, only to have that very same boy insist on tagging along. Stumbling up the steps of the tower, they remove the cloak once they’ve reached the top.

“Wow.” Sirius stands with his head tipped back, staring straight upwards at the darkened sky. “I often forget how many stars there are.”

Remus follows Sirius’ gaze upwards, and his breath catches in his throat. The stars are brighter than ever, looking like tiny pinpricks in a sheet of dark velvet cloth. He has the sudden urge to reach up and run his hand over the surface of the sky, and instantly feels silly for it. That’s not a thing a person can do.

“What are you thinking about?” Sirius asks, and Remus realizes the other boy had been watching him. 

“I was wondering what the night sky would feel like, if it was a thing you could touch.”

The corner of Sirius’ mouth quirks upwards in a strange half-smile. “I’ve never thought about that before.” They stare upwards in silence for a few moments, before Sirius speaks again. “I think it would be smooth where it’s dark, but textured where each star is.”

Remus nods. “Do you think they’d feel like bumps or holes?”

“. . . What do you mean?”

Remus shrugs, glancing back upwards. “Say the stars are just holes that someone poked in the sky. Which side was the person on that did the poking? If they were on our side, they’d feel like holes. But if they were on the other side, they’d feel like bumps.” He looks back at Sirius. “Does that make any sort of sense?”

Sirius watches him with a perplexed expression on his face, but the half-smile is still there. “Holes,” he said with finality. “Because if anyone’s going to make pinpricks in the sky, it ought to be me.”

Remus laughs at that, and Sirius’ half smile fills out on the other side. “You have a very interesting mind, Moony.”

Remus shrugs again, scratching the back of his neck with one hand. He wonders why Sirius makes him so nervous. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Do you mind me asking why you wanted to come out here?” Sirius asks.

“Oh.” Remus leans against the railing, looking out over the grounds instead of at his companion. “Just wanted some time to think.”

Sirius joins him at the railing, bumping their shoulders together playfully. He’s such a touchy person. “You said something similar in the library yesterday. What’s on your mind?”

Remus lets out a long exhale. Perhaps if he leaves things in vague terms, everything might be alright. “What does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone, even when you’re trying to sleep? And you keep replaying every time they speak to you, or touch you - even if it was only for a moment.” His brows are drawn together in thought, and he looks over to see Sirius staring at him with a curious expression on his face.

“You really don’t know what that means?” he asks, as though Remus might be messing with him.

Remus stares back at him blankly.

“Moony, for crying out loud - it means you _fancy_ them!” Sirius blurts, throwing his hands up in the air.

Remus feels as though someone has slapped him, and takes a staggering step backwards. “It does?”

Sirius nods, looking at him strangely now. “What else could it possibly mean?”

Remus’ mind goes blank. “That we’re good friends? I - I dunno - this has never happened to me before!”

Sirius laughs. “You’re talking about love like it’s some horrible disease you’ve contracted.”

“ _Love?!_ ” Remus blurts. “I certainly never said anything about love.”

Sirius rolls his eyes and takes an eager step forward. “So . . . who is it? Who d’you fancy?”

Remus only shakes his head. “I don’t,” he states firmly.

Sirius looks taken aback by this. “Sorry,” he says quickly, backtracking. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

Remus’ head is swimming, and he doesn’t know what to do. He just knows that he needs to get away. “I’m going to head back to the dormitory,” he tells Sirius, sidestepping the other boy and marching towards the staircase. 

“Wait, Moony - you’ll be seen!” Sirius calls after him, waving the cloak. 

But Remus is already gone.

He runs through the castle at full speed, not caring to be quiet or subtle, and miraculously makes it back to the dormitory without getting caught by Filch or Mrs. Norris. Once there, he dives into his bed and pulls the covers over his face, lying still and trying to calm his breathing. 

There’s no way. It’s impossible.

There’s simply no way he fancies Sirius Black.

**8:53 pm**

“My sunglasses have a body count.”

Remus looks up from across the table and gives Sirius an incredulous look. “What?”

Sirius only raises his eyebrows, looking at Remus through darkened lenses. “My sunglasses,” he repeats slowly, “have a-“

“I heard what you said, dumbass. My question is why you said it.”

Sirius tilts his head forwards so the glasses slide down the bridge of his nose, and looks at Remus over the tops of them with a single eyebrow raised. “Because it’s true. No one can resist this look.”

Remus opens his mouth, then closes it in frustration, and in one swift movement he reaches over and yanks the glasses right off of Sirius’ smug face. “I can.”

Sirius’ jaw drops open in shock, and he leans across the table, arm outstretched. “Give them back!” he whines, and Remus’ smile only grows as he holds them higher.

Sirius’ hand comes down onto the table with an aggravated slap, and he stares at Remus with narrowed eyes for a long moment. Then his face brightens ever so slightly, and that dangerous smile creeps up onto it as he cocks his head to the side.

Remus’s own smile fades slightly. “Why are you looking at me li-“

Pressure.

Pressure on his mouth.

Remus only has time to blink before Sirius’ face is right up in front of his, long lashes brushing against his cheekbone.

Remus’s eyes flutter closed, and that’s when it hits him. 

_I’m kissing Sirius Black._

_No. Sirius Black is kissing me._

_Wrong again. Sirius Black and I are kissing each other._

Sirius’s mouth increases its pressure, and Remus hums, tucking his fingers under the other boy’s ears and into the hair at the nape of his neck. He can feel Sirius’s smile against his mouth.

“So,” Sirius murmurs before pulling away. “You can resist my sunglasses, but not my kiss?”

The sensation of Sirius’s voice vibrating against Remus’ lips disappears completely when the words sink in. He pulls his hands out of Sirius’s hair. 

His _empty_ hands. 

Sirius smirks and holds up his sunglasses, dangling them from his fingertips like a carrot before a rabbit. 

“You-“ Remus can feel his face flushing as he realizes he’s been played. “ _You little_ -“

But Sirius cuts him off, smiling wider with each passing second. “You’re cute when you’re flustered.”

Remus only buries his face in his hands, the warmth from his cheeks radiating into his palms. “ _Sirius_ ,” he groans, embarrassed.

“Remus. _Remus_.”

“ _What?_ ” Remus looks up from his hands, but instead of Sirius smirking across from him, Lily’s amused expression fills his view.

“Having a good dream, were you?” she chuckles, smiling cheekily.

“What? No, I was-“ Remus looks around, completely disoriented, and finds himself slumped over the lighting board at the counter of the tech booth. He sits up straighter and looks through the window, only to find the stage dark and empty. The clock reads 9:14 pm. Rehearsal must have ended. “But it - it was so real-”

“What was?” Lily asks, a teasing lilt to her voice as she tips her head playfully to the side. “Your snog-session with Sirius?”

Remus whips back around to face her.

“It’s very interesting,” Lily continues, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t know it was possible for someone to blush in their sleep.”

Remus scoffs, “I was _not_ -“

“Oh please.“ Lily waves her hand dismissively. “You mumbled his name at least twice.”

Remus’ eyes widen. “I - what?”

“Here, I’ll demonstrate. _Si_ -“

“Shut up!” Remus lunges at Lily, clamping a hand over her mouth. He can feel her grin beneath his fingers.

“What are you guys doing?”

The two of them turn to see none other than Sirius Black standing in the tech booth doorway.

“Nothing!” Remus blurts, pulling back his hand and thinking quickly. “I - I fell asleep during the last runthrough, and Lily was about to rat me out to McGonagall.”

Lily’s grin only widens as she glances back and forth between the two of them.

Sirius nods, then perks up slightly, as though he’s just had an idea. He almost grins, but smothers it. “Well, I’ll see you back in the dorm.”

“See ya!” Remus says maybe a bit too enthusiastically, waving as Sirius departs. As soon as he’s out of earshot, however, Remus slumps against the wall, burying his face in his hands. “Fuck.”

Lily laughs. “I’m sorry - I promise I won’t tell any-”

“ _Fuck_.”

The teasing tone has left Lily’s voice. “ . . . Are you upset with me?“

“No, Lily. I - I’m-“ Remus let’s out a frustrated growl, running his hands up his face and through his hair. “I’m upset that I had that fucking dream in the first place. Why is my brain so _stupid?_ ” 

“I don’t understand.” Lily says at length, her face now etched with genuine worry. “What’s wrong with having a dream about someone you like?”

“I don’t-“ Remus huffs out a breath. “I don’t like him. I don’t like anyone. That’s how it’s always been, and that’s how I like it, and this, this is going to ruin _everything_ , and-”

“Okay, I think maybe you should take some deep-“

“No.” Remus is already on his feet as he grabs his bookbag and storms out of the tech booth, leaping down the auditorium steps two at a time. He needs to leave. He needs to stop seeing Sirius, stop thinking about Sirius - he needs to stop doing things that have anything at all to do with Sirius.

Then Lily calls down to him just as he reaches the bottom, her voice echoing off the auditorium walls, and her words make Remus freeze mid-step.

“Remus, who told you that you’re not allowed to fall in love?”

The words might have been loud, but they were spoken with the gentlest of voices. It’s a tone unfamiliar to Remus’ ears.

He turns to look over his shoulder, and Lily stares him down, her expression full of an emotion that Remus is unable to recognize. He clenches his jaw, and gives his answer. Then he pushes through the door, and is gone.

Lily stares after him; and even when Remus is out of sight, and the door has long since swung shut behind him, her green eyes remain locked on where he last stood as he answered her question with two simple words.

“ _I_ did.”


	6. Wednesday

**Wednesday - 4:35 pm**

Remus managed to avoid Sirius throughout the majority of Wednesday. Sure, this may have required eating a bit later than everyone else, leaving classes immediately after they were dismissed, and walking swiftly through the common room so as not to garner any attention, but to Remus it was worth it. He didn’t want to think about his feelings for Sirius right now. 

But as he sat in the library with Lily, Mary, and Marlene, listening to them converse about anything and everything except revising, he knew that he just couldn’t hold it in anymore. He had to talk about it - and the three girls sitting with him were quite good listeners, after all. And good secret keepers, too.

“Oi, I . . . need a bit of advice.” Remus says slowly, once their heated debate about which Honneydukes candies were superior had reached a sort of lull.

Immediately, all three heads turn to look at him with interest. Remus sat with and listened to them quite often, but it was rare for him to interject in a conversation. They never seemed to mind, though.

Remus leans back in his chair, suddenly insecure now that all of the attention is on him. Too late to turn back now. “How does one . . . _stop_ fancying someone?”

Mary looks genuinely confused. “Why on earth would you want to _stop?_ ” 

Marlene doesn’t seem to have registered the actual question. Her eyes light up. “Do you fancy someone, Remus?”

Lily only watches him carefully, a sad sort of expression on her face.

Remus studies the quill in his hands. “I think so,” he answers Marlene, looking up. “But I don’t really like how it feels - like how much time I spend thinking about them. I want my brain to be fully my own, but it’s not right now, and I was wondering if you lot knew how to help me get it back.”

The three girls are watching him with bizarre looks on their faces.

“I’m not sure I understand,” Marlene says at length.

Mary leans forwards slightly. “But isn’t it _nice_ , having another person act as a distraction from life?”

Remus shakes his head fervently. “It’s not _nice_. It’s annoying - and I’d very much like it to stop.” He looks at the two girls sitting across from him, and realizes that he’s lost them. They simply don’t understand how he feels, and therefore won’t be much help at all.

But then Lily speaks up, resting a hand lightly on his shoulder. “Have you taken some time to consider _why_ you don’t enjoy fancying someone? The way you’re describing it makes it seem like a battle you’re fighting - like you’re worried that your emotions are being hijacked by someone else. Is it possible you’re just afraid of losing control of your feelings?”

Remus stares at Lily, speechless for the second time this week. Lily stares back at him, along with Mary and Marlene, who seem to sense that the tone of the conversation has shifted.

“I have rehearsal,” Remus murmurs, standing abruptly and slinging his book bag over his shoulder. “Thank you for your help.”

“Remus, wait - I’ll walk with you!” Lily calls after him, but he’s already left.

She’d been right, of course. No one ever gave her the credit she deserved, but Lily Evans was the brightest witch of her age. 

Remus Lupin spent one night every month losing complete control of his body, and the knowledge that his feelings for Sirius were taking over parts of his mind frightened him beyond comprehension. His emotions were all he had left - they were the one thing the wolf couldn’t touch, but now they were compromised as well. If he didn’t have control of his body, and he didn’t have control of his mind, who was he? That was the question that unnerved Remus the most.

He didn’t go straight to the auditorium. He lapped the castle several times instead, walking up and down the moving staircases until his legs ached in the same manner they did in the days after a full moon. Sue, he’d found the root of the problem, but he still had no clue how to fix it.

Eventually, he gave up, arriving at rehearsal - and everything spun further out of control.

**5:03 pm**

Sirius is waiting by the doorway as Remus enters the auditorium. “Hey Moony!” he calls out, and the moment Remus looks up at the sound of someone addressing him, Sirius boops him on the nose with his wand. 

A small electric shock jolts into Remus, akin to the kind one receives from static electricity. He jumps slightly. “What the bloody hell was that?”

Sirius only grins. “Right this way.” He leads Remus into the auditorium, where the entire cast and crew is sitting in the audience. James, Marlene, and Mary are there as well, and a few of the students are eating popcorn. Not only that, but the school’s projection screen is pulled down in front of the stage.

“What’s all this?” Remus asks. “A movie night?”

“Something like that,” Sirius says, a strange tone in his voice. “Take a seat, why don’t you.” 

Remus’ brow furrows at the vague response, but sits down in the nearest seat anyways, next to Lily. “Any idea what exactly is happening?”

Lily shakes her head. “All I know is that when McGonagall gets here, she’s not going to be pleased that we’re lounging about instead of prepping a runthrough.”

“Attention folks!” Sirius declares, standing on the stage before all of them like the announcer from some old game show. “I now present to you: _payback_.” He grins. “Also known as: the last dream Remus Lupin remembers having.” 

A rock drops into the pit of Remus’ stomach as Sirius turns and aims his wand at the screen, a light emitting from the tip like a muggle projector.

And the image of Sirius and Remus sitting across from each other appears.

_“My sunglasses have a bodycount.”_

_“What?”_

Remus is on his feet before the third line of dialogue can be spoken. “Sirius,” he demands, as though saying his name will stop what’s about to happen. He turns and looks frantically at Lily, who looks confused for a moment before her eyes widen in understanding.

In an instant, she’s on her feet as well. “Sirius!”

But Sirius isn’t paying attention, and is instead watching the screen with an unreadable expression as Dream Remus reaches across the table and pulls the sunglasses off of Dream Sirius’ face.

“ _Sirius!_ ” Remus’ voice tries to convey the urgency that he feels, but doesn’t do justice to the internal screams that are bouncing around inside his head. He starts frantically searching through his bag for his wand, but there are so many notebooks and quills and ink pots that he knows he won’t find it in time. He looks back up at the screen.

And watches as Dream Sirius leans forward and presses his mouth against Dream Remus’ lips.

“ _Finite_ ,” Lily shouts, finally having acquired her own wand and aiming it at Sirius. The screen goes blank.

And everyone turns to look at Remus, who, calm and collected, picks up his bookbag, slings it over his shoulder, and walks swiftly out of the auditorium. It’s not until he’s beyond those big red doors that he starts running. He’s vaguely aware of various people calling his name, but the only sound Remus focuses on are his footsteps against the floor as he bolts through the castle hallways with absolutely no sense of direction.

That is, until he turns a corner and finds himself at a dead end. Stupid castle. He turns around to start running a different way, because the running feels good - even if he doesn’t know where he’s running to - but finds Sirius standing there, out of breath. “Moony,” he pants. “I am so sorry. I was trying to get you back for the dancing prank, but I - I didn’t expect-”

“Do you ever think about anyone except yourself?” Remus snaps, and Sirius instantly falls silent. “Did you ever once consider that the contents of someone else’s head aren’t your business?” Remus can’t remember the last time he raised his voice at someone, but the yelling feels just as good as the running. “The world doesn’t revolve around you. Your decisions affect other people. And now the entire cast and crew of our show, and all our friends, have seen - seen things that are deeply personal and private!” Remus feels as though he’s about to explode, and he doesn’t even realize that he’s begun crying until angry tears are streaming down his face.

Sirius seems to be at a loss for words. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. He steps forwards, one delicate hand outstretched as though he plans to wipe Remus’ tears away, but Remus ducks under his arm and steps around him. 

“Tell McGonagall I’m not coming to rehearsal today. Actually,” he snaps, “Tell her _I quit_.” 

And with that, Remus Lupin disappears around the corner, leaving Sirius Black to face the consequences of what he’s done.


	7. Thursday

**Thursday - 12:29 pm**

The day after Sirius’ prank was somewhat of a nightmare. Every class, Remus could feel his fellow students’ eyes on him, and could hear the vague whispers bouncing back and forth against the walls. He knew they were talking about him. He’d expected as much.

But what he didn’t expect was Professor McGonagall calling out to him after concluding her Transfiguration lecture. “Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin, if you could stay behind please.”

Remus nods and stands uneasily, refusing to look in Sirius’ direction as the rest of the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws file out of the room. Once the classroom is completely empty, McGonagall turns to the two boys and addresses them.

“Now I don’t know why Mr. Black here came to me this morning and told me he was dropping the role of Romeo-” Remus’ head snaps in Sirius’ direction, but the other boy’s eyes are focused straight ahead. “-but I’m going to assume it has something to do with this nonsensical prank war. This is unacceptable - as we have no understudies and the show premieres _tomorrow night_ \- so as I’m sure you’ve already guessed, Mr. Black’s request has been denied.”

Sirius’ eyes widen, his mouth already forming a retort, but the professor holds up a hand and gives him a stern look of warning.

“That decision is final. But that’s not why I asked you both to stay behind.” McGonagall lowers her hand and looks at them over the tops of her glasses, her stern expression giving way to a softer one. “I know that the two of you have been the best of friends for as long as you’ve been at Hogwarts, and I will not allow whatever went on in the auditorium last night to ruin that. So,” she declares, clapping her hands together and walking towards the classroom door. “It’s my expectation that neither of you will leave this room until you’re on good terms again. See you at rehearsal.” And with that, she leaves, letting the classroom door swing shut behind her.

**12:36 pm**

There’s a long stretch of silence as the two boys stare at the closed classroom doorway, then slowly turn their attention towards one another.

Remus, surprisingly, is the first to speak. “Why on earth did you tell her you were dropping the role?”

Sirius’ brow furrows as though the answer should be obvious. “Because you told me you wanted to quit the show, but I was the one who’d done wrong. Figured I oughta be the one to quit.”

“But you love playing Romeo.”

Sirius shrugs, and takes a seat on one of the desks, planting his feet on the chair that sits before it. “And you love doing the lights.”

Remus just stares at him. Yesterday, he’d felt nothing but anger towards Sirius, but now . . . something seems to have shifted. Sirius’ newfound selflessness is catching Remus off guard. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

Sirius shakes his head and waves a hand dismissively. “Don’t apologize, Moony. I deserved it.”

Now it’s Remus’ turn to shake his head, and takes a hesitant step forward. “Doesn’t matter - I shouldn’t have raised my voice. And besides,” he says firmly, angling his chin upwards slightly, “I forgive you for it.”

Sirius’ head shoots up, a bewildered expression on his face. “Really? Just like that?”

“Yeah,” Remus nods, a slow smile starting to form. “It was a brilliant idea, I must admit, just unfortunate timing that my last dream was about-” He stops abruptly, remembering suddenly what Sirius saw, and immediately takes a step backwards. “I - er - I have homework.”

“Moony, wait-”

But Remus is already gone.

**12:51 pm**

How could he have let his guard down like that? How could he have forgotten? Remus cringes to himself as he moves swiftly through the castle hallways, re-imagining his last interaction with Sirius from the other boy’s perspective. He was probably thinking about the dream the entire time! And Remus had just stood there and had a normal conversation with someone who knew he dreamt of snogging them. It was mortifying.

“Headed to the Great Hall for lunch?” a voice asks as someone appears before Remus, blocking his path. He looks up, skidding to a halt, only to see that it’s Devin.

“Back to my common room, actually,” Remus answers, adjusting his bookbag. “I’ve had enough of people staring in small classrooms - don’t think I want the eyes of the entire school on me at once.” He nods by way of farewell, and tries to step around Devin, but the taller boy mirrors his movements, and blocks his path.

“About that,” Devin says. “This whole ‘school-boy crush’ thing you’ve got going on is really cute - but you know that you and Sirius would be a disastrous couple, right?”

Remus blinks. His mouth opens and closes as he tries to find the words to respond.

“I mean, Sirius is adventurous and impulsive and energetic, and you’re . . . well, if you’ll excuse my bluntness, the very definition of a buzzkill.” Devin almost laughs. “He’d get bored of you in three seconds flat. Not to mention that someone from a family as pure as his would never stoop so low as to date a _half-blood_.”

Remus gawks at this. “Never met a Hufflepuff that cared so much about blood purity.”

This time, Devin does laugh, and it’s a twisted, mocking sound. He leans forwards slightly and looks Remus dead in the eye. “Well if there’s one thing to keep in mind about Hufflepuffs, it’s that we’re very loyal to those we care about. And I care about Sirius Black. Deeply.” He grabs Remus’ shoulder and shakes it the way a friend might, but his fingers are digging into Remus’ shirt. “So I hope you’ll do the wise thing, and stay away.”

Remus can feel heat radiating throughout his body, and as Devin attempts to sidestep him, Remus returns the favor of blocking his path, placing the two of them in opposition once more. “And what if I don’t?”

Devin only looks down at him and smiles. “Then I suppose you’ll have to prepare for getting your heart broken. Because Sirius Black is in love with _me_.”

**9:01 pm**

To say that Remus was having a bad day was an understatement. First his embarrassing discussion with Sirius, and now this infuriating encounter with Devin. He didn’t know what to do or how to feel - only that he wanted to avoid them both, so he skipped lunch and went up to their dormitory instead, pulling the curtains shut and flopping down onto his bed. He pulled out a novel he’d been reading and tried to start a chapter, but his thoughts kept drifting back to the events of the day.

Devin was an asshole, but he had also said a lot of things that were correct. Sirius was in love with him - he’d said so at the Three Broomsticks earlier that week. Which explained why Sirius didn’t really react to the knowledge that Remus fancied him, and didn’t show any signs of liking him back. 

And even if Sirius _did_ like him back - which Remus knew he definitely didn’t - Devin wasn’t wrong in pointing out how different they were. Sirius was - well, he was _Sirius_. He did what he wanted no matter what the people around him thought, whereas Remus always seemed to be looking for permission. Maybe he should try being more reckless sometime.

A knock sounds at the dormitory door, which creaks open. “Moony?” Sirius’ voice asks.

Remus places his book on his bedside table and sits up, crossing his legs beneath him. “ . . . Yeah?”

“May I enter?”

“Uh . . . sure.” Remus watches as Sirius pulls his bedside curtain open, steps inside, and then respectfully closes it again.

“You alright?” he asks casually, pushing a strand of black hair out of his face, but purposefully not tucking it behind his ear. He always liked his hair to look unruly. “Noticed you weren’t at dinner. Came to check on you.”

“Dinner?” Remus looks at the clock on his nightstand, and realizes that he’d been sitting on his bed, thinking about this whole situation, for literal _hours_. Oops.

“Did I do something again?” Sirius asks, taking a step forward. “I thought we made up this morning in McGonagall’s classroom, but you’ve been avoiding me ever since-”

“You’re fine,” Remus insists, cutting him off and looking up at him. “It’s just . . . difficult. Surely you can understand how I feel?”

Sirius’ expression is the very picture of confusion. “What do you mean? What’s difficult?”

Remus makes an incredulous expression. “Being around you, after knowing that you know! I can’t just go back to being-”

“Knowing what I know? What do I know? That you had a dream you snogged me?” Sirius grins. “Half the folks in school have had a dream like that, I reckon, and they act just fine.” Remus only stares at him. “What?”

“Are you really that daft?”

“Excuse me?”

Remus pushes himself to his feet. “Maybe this isn’t true for ‘half the folks in school’, but I had a dream about snogging you because I _fancy_ you, you idiot. And it’s difficult being around someone you fancy, when they know about it and don’t fancy you back.”

Sirius’ normally very languid posture becomes rigid and frozen, and his mouth parts as his eyes widen slightly. It only lasts a moment, though, and then his composure returns. He stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets. “What makes you think I don’t fancy you back?”

All Remus can do is laugh. “Perhaps you telling me directly that you’re in love with Devin Davis, or the way you knew that I _dreamt of snogging you_ and didn’t mention anything regarding-”

Sirius kisses him.

**9:23 pm**

_I’m kissing Sirius Black._

_No. Sirius Black is kissing me._

_Wrong again. Sirius Black and I are kissing each other._

It’s as though the two of them are suddenly suspended in amber, or honey - their fast-paste banter cutting off abruptly and giving way to something slow and sweet. A warm light washes in through the window, catching on the curtain surrounding them as the sun begins to set outside.

Remus’ posture stiffens the moment their lips touch, his hands instinctively moving upwards to grab the front of Sirius’ jacket and push him away. But then a voice in his head whispers _stop fighting for control_ , and he pauses, then softens, pulling Sirius closer instead. This, incidentally, causes Sirius to trip, pushing Remus down onto the bed and landing on top of him. Sirius lifts himself up slightly, his hair cascading down like rivulets of ink to frame their heads. 

“Sorry about - I - I should’ve _mmph_.” 

Remus doesn’t let Sirius finish his thought, kissing him back instead. Sirius was right - it is like painting. All pressure and brushstrokes. Sirius’ mouth is slightly wider than Remus’, which means it envelopes his in a wonderful sort of warmth. His breath hitches as Sirius licks his lower lip, eyes flashing open as the shorter boy pulls away and grins.

But just then the dormitory door squeaks open, and two sets of footsteps enter the room. Sirius and Remus freeze as the voices of James and Peter fill the space, a single curtain the only thing keeping them from being seen.

“Sleeping already, are they?” James asks incredulously.

“Seems that way,” Peter responds.

One set of footsteps - confident and loud, definitely James - approaches Remus’ curtain, and then pauses as though listening.

Sirius makes a show of puffing out his cheeks as he holds his breath, which only makes it harder for Remus to stay quiet and not burst into laughter.

“Out like a light,” James whispers to Peter.

“Same over here,” Peter whispers back.

It takes at least twenty minutes for the two of them to get ready for bed and fall definitively asleep, but Remus certainly doesn’t mind, and Sirius doesn’t seem to either. They lie still, fitted against each other with Sirius’ head on Remus’ chest, until they’re certain the other two boys are sleeping. Then Sirius slowly raises himself up onto his elbows, fumbles for his wand, and casts a silencing spell around the bed. 

**9:31 pm**

Sirius. “Have you ever-”

Remus. “No.”

“Do you want to-”

“Yes.”

Laughter. “Okay.”

“I like your laugh.”

“I like your face.”

“Well aren’t we poetic.”


	8. Friday - Part One

**Friday - 5:44 pm**

Remus and Sirius decided to keep their relationship a secret for the time being. Everything was hectic enough with it being opening night for _Romeo and Julius_ , and they didn’t want to add anything new to the chaos. And regardless of how difficult it was to refrain from telling everyone, Remus was finding that having a secret relationship was _fun_. It largely consisted of exchanging knowing looks from across classrooms, standing a bit closer than usual in the hallways, and helping Sirius “rehearse his lines” in the broom closet once classes had finished for the day.

“Pads,” Remus murmurs against the other boys’ mouth, but Sirius only increases his pressure, muffling Remus’ words.

“Sorry, you were saying. . ?” Sirius mutters, smiling mischievously as he pulls away slightly.

“I just wanted to remind _you_ -” Remus’ sentence falters as Sirius ducks underneath his chin and leaves a trail of kisses down his neck.

“Remind me of what?” Sirius mutters against Remus’ collarbone.

Remus fights to gather himself back together. “That call time for opening night is at six, which is in fifteen m - _Merlin_ -” He once again loses his composure as Sirius’ tongue traces its way from his collarbone, up his neck, and finally to his mouth. He kisses back with fervor for a moment, then pulls away. “That’s absolutely disgusting, you know,” he says, but he’s smiling.

“Oh please,” Sirius rolls his eyes. “You loved it.”

“Hey - _hey_ -” Remus cups Sirius’ face with both hands to hold him in place. “We don’t have to spend all our freetime snogging, you know. I mean, it’s fun and all - _really_ fun - but I’d like to talk to you as well.”

Sirius’ expression is hard to read, and he seems to take a moment to process this. “Never been with anyone who wanted to ‘talk’. Most folks just want someone they can snog.” He smiles then, looking up at Remus. “What do you want to talk about?”

Remus takes a moment to consider this, removing his hands from Sirius’ face and crossing his arms instead. He wants to talk about everything and nothing at all. He wants to know the other boy’s hopes and ambitions, as well as his fears and anxieties. And he wants to share with Sirius his own hopes and anxieties as well. It’s wonderful, having someone who will finally listen.

Remus glances down at Sirius as he comes up with his answer. “If stars are just holes that someone poked in the sky, what do you think’s on the other side?”

A light flickers on inside Sirius’ eyes, and he thinks about this long and hard. Eventually, he throws up his hands. “I haven’t a bloody clue. But I do know one thing for certain.”

Remus arches a scarred eyebrow. “And what might that be?”

Sirius grins. “I’d poke holes in the sky for you any day, Moony.”

“Any night, you mean.”

“Oh, shut up and kiss me.”

**6:02 pm**

“Oh, by the way - Devin is a blood purist.” Remus says as he and Sirius turn into the hallway that’s just outside the auditorium.

Sirius stops full in his tracks, causing Remus to nearly bump into him. “You're joking.”

Remus shakes his head, stepping to the side. “Told me that you’d never ‘stoop so low as to date a half-blood’.”

Sirius balls his hands into fists. “Why, that little-” And then suddenly his expression brightens. “I know exactly what to do to piss him off. Watch this.” He flashes Remus a brilliant smile, and then pushes open the auditorium doors. “Oi! McGonagall!”

The Transfiguration professor, who had previously been having a conversation with a Ravenclaw stagehand, turns at the sound of her name. “Yes, Mr. Black?”

The woman is standing right in front of him, but Sirius, ever the actor, projects his voice so that everyone lingering about in the auditorium can hear. “I don’t feel comfortable kissing Devin onstage. Is it alright if we do a stage kiss instead?”

McGonagall looks confused but nods immediately. “Of course!”

“Er, excuse me, professor.” Devin stands up from where he and his friends had previously been lounging in the audience. “Shouldn’t I get a say in this as well? I have no problem with a real onstage kiss, and I feel it’s unfair that-”

“What would be unfair would be for me to force one of my actors to do something that he is uncomfortable with.” McGongall says sternly, turning to address him. “If Mr. Black would prefer it be a stage kiss, then that’s what it shall be. And I best not hear you trying to convince him otherwise.” Devin opens his mouth to protest yet again, but McGonagall holds up a hand to silence him. She then returns to her conversation with the Ravenclaw stagehand.

Sirius turns to Remus and bumps their shoulders together playfully. Remus smiles and bumps him back, but doesn’t miss Devin narrowing his eyes at them as he slumps back down into one of the auditorium seats.

**6:15 pm**

Devin disappears for a while after that, but Remus certainly doesn’t mind as he and Sirius chat with some of the other members of the cast and crew. Then, with fifteen minutes until the opening of the house, Remus and Sirius part ways, Sirius heading backstage to get into costume and Remus making his way up the auditorium stairs.

“You sure seem smiley today.” Lily comments as Remus enters the tech booth and settles down in the seat before his lighting board. “Something good happen that I should know about?”

“Nope,” Remus stretches, trying to return his face to its neutral expression as he throws his arms up over his head. “Just glad to see Devin taken down a peg.”

“That was really unlike Sirius, don’t you think?” Lily leans back in her chair and stares wonderingly through the window. “I’ve never known him to be one to give up a good snog.”

Remus snorts. “I highly doubt Devin falls into the ‘good snog’ category.”

Lily throws back her head and laughs. “True that.” She pauses. “I wonder about Sirius, though.”

“Oh, he’s _beyond_ good.” Remus insists. He then immediately stiffens.

Lily whips around to face him. She doesn’t say anything - doesn’t need to, really - just stares at him with a gaping mouth that slowly forms into the largest smile Remus has ever seen.

“You can’t tell anyone!” Remus blurts, giving up any chance he might have had of convincing her he was joking.

Lily finally closes her mouth, but her smile is still wide as ever. “I won’t. Promise." She then turns back to her sound board and mutters, “James isn’t half bad himself.”

“WHAT?!”

**8:43 pm**

After the initial shock wears off for both of them, Remus and Lily turn into a giggling, gossiping mess, swapping stories about their secret boyfriends in between sound and lighting cues. 

“James _hates_ using tongue.”

“That’s hysterical - Sirius _loves_ it.”

But as the play’s ending draws nearer, and the final scene begins, they slowly fall silent. Remus watches as Sirius enters the on-stage tomb and stumbles to a halt upon seeing Devin’s supposedly lifeless body. He runs to the blond boy’s side, crying out in anguish, and recites his lines with a hollowed voice. He then cups Devin’s face, placing his thumbs over the other boys lips, and kisses them - just as planned - before downing the vial of poison, stage-kissing “Julius” again, and collapsing to the floor. Mere moments later, Devin wakes up, and cries out to see his true love lying dead on the floor.

Remus watches all of this with a hardened expression. Poor Romeo and Julius. All they wanted was to be together, but the entire world tried to tear them apart - and in the end they missed each other by mere seconds.

**9:39 pm**

The show was such a roaring success that the actors were held up by the audience for nearly half an hour afterwards. Everyone wanted to shake the hands of Sirius and Devin and ask how they’d handled such emotionally draining roles. Remus and Lily watched from up in the booth, chowing down on some chocolate frogs that Lily had brought with her to celebrate.

“You ever wish people would ask you endless questions about lighting design?” she asked him at one point.

“Sometimes,” he admitted, “but right now I think I’ll pass.” Sirius and Devin were quite literally surrounded, the space between them and their adoring fans growing narrower and narrower by the second. At one point the two boys bump into each other, and Sirius looks over at Devin and smiles, reaching out and grabbing his hand.

Remus’ posture immediately straightens. “What are they doing?”

Lily squints through the window, popping another chocolate frog into her mouth. “It’s probably just for show. They’re still playing the characters.”

Remus lets himself relax slightly, but not all the way. The manner in which Sirius is looking at Devin is . . . strange. Almost admirable.

Something’s off.

**10:03 pm**

About ten minutes later the actors were able to shake off the audience and head back to the Gryffindor common room for the cast (and crew) party, and ten minutes after _that_ Lily and Remus finished their assortment of candy and decided to make their way back as well.

“James is going to be disappointed when he finds out I told you,” Lily shakes her head as they arrive outside the portrait hole. “He thinks the secrecy is half of the romance.”

Remus snorts, then takes a moment to think. “I’m not sure how Sirius will react. I’m not gonna tell him right away, though. Maybe tomorrow.”

Lily nods, then recites the password, and the portrait hole swings open to reveal a raucous party. Loud music emanates from within, and a mass of dancing bodies bob to the beat at the room’s very center. Lily and Remus climb inside, allowing the portrait to swing closed behind them.

“I might have to wait until tomorrow as well,” Lily shouts over the music. “Not sure I’ll ever find James in all this chaos. Sirius, on the other hand . . .”

Remus follows Lily’s gaze to the center of the room, where Sirius stands, dancing on a table. He holds Romeo’s prop vial in one hand, knocking back the whiskey as he moves to the beat. Remus smiles at the sight, and starts making his way across the room, Lily right behind him. But as he nears the table, something happens that stops him in his tracks.

Devin jumps up onto the table next to Sirius and starts moving in sync with him, pressing their bodies together in an intimate way.

And Sirius leans in and kisses him.


	9. Friday - Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for strong language and mild nonconsensual themes

**Friday - 10:10 pm**

Remus stands there in dumbstruck silence as Sirius leans into Devin and kisses him. He doesn’t know whether to feel embarrassed or enraged, but regardless, the adrenaline coursing through him is telling him to _act_.

“Hey!” Remus shouts over the music, getting jostled about by a few drunk Huffelpffs trying to dance. Sirius and Devin don’t react, so Remus walks right up to the table and backhands Sirius’ leg. Hard. “I said _hey_.” 

Sirius breaks his and Devin’s kiss, looking down at Remus through lidded eyes. “The fuck you want?” he slurs. He raises the prop vial back up towards his mouth, but Remus reaches out and snatches it from his hands, just wanting to take _something_ away from him. Wanting to make him as mad as Remus feels. “Give it back!” Sirius demands, reaching for it and nearly falling off the table in his attempts to reclaim it.

“Leave us alone,” Devin snaps, swinging his foot towards Remus’ shoulder. 

Remus dodges out of the way and keeps his attention on Sirius. “I thought - I thought I _meant_ something to you,” Remus blurts. “But I guess I was just another person you wanted to snog.”

Sirius seems to have given up on reaching for the vial, and looks at Remus with a slightly confused expression on his face. He doesn’t acknowledge anything the other boy has yelled at him, and instead says, “That stuff smells good. You should try some.” He then turns back to Devin and kisses him again.

Remus feels like he’s about to explode. He has the creeping sensation that if he doesn’t leave, he might punch someone. 

A hand comes to rest on his shoulder. “Let’s take a walk,” Lily says quietly. Remus nods.

**10:19 pm**

Anyone could have predicted that they’d end up back in the auditorium, which thankfully is empty. Remus marches up onto the stage, looks down at the vial in his hand, and promptly smashes it on the ground.

“ _Remus!_ ” Lily scolds him, but her expression softens once she realizes that he’s burst into tears.

He sinks down onto his knees beside the broken bits of glass and buries his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. Lily immediately kneels down next to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding him while he cries. They sit like that for a long while.

“I thought - I thought I _meant_ something to him,” Remus says for the second time that night. 

“I know,” Lily murmurs against his hair.

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to like him in the first place. I just knew something like this would happen.”

Lily pulls away slightly, sitting back on her heels. “But isn’t it better to fall in and out of love, as opposed to never falling in love at all?”

Remus laughs, and it’s a bitter sound. “Absolutely not. Falling in love is bullshit.”

Lily opens her mouth - likely to reject this - but pauses mid-way and sniffs the air. “What’s that smell?” She looks down at the smashed vial and the pink liquid seeping over the floor of the stage. “It smells like . . . quidditch equipment and James’ hair.”

Remus furrows his eyebrows at her. “No it doesn’t - it smells like whiskey, and Sirius’ leather jacket.”

They make eye contact, and everything clicks into place.

“Amortentia,” they say simultaneously.

**10:31pm**

“Turn that blasted music _off_ ,” Professor McGonagall demands, stepping through the portrait hole of the Gryffindor common room like a warrior stepping onto a battlefield. 

The room falls instantly quiet as the music cuts out and all heads turn to face her. Remus and Lily stand slightly behind, looking on in awe at the way she commands the room. Telling her had been a good call.

“Sirius Black,” McGonagall says gently, walking through the crowd - which parts before her - and stopping in front of the table that he and Devin are standing on. “Drink this, dear.” She hands him a vial with a greyish liquid inside, and Sirius, never one to directly oppose this specific professor, obeys. Almost instantly a sort of sharpness returns to his eyes, and he looks over at Devin with a horrified expression. 

“You _cunt_ ,” he hisses.

“Normally I would scold you for the use of such strong language, Mr. Black, but in this case I feel it is justified.” McGonagall turns sharply to the second boy. “Devin Davis, if you would come with me.” Everyone watches in a stunned sort of silence as Davis is escorted from the room. McGonagall turns at the last minute before closing the portrait hole behind her and says, “Go to bed, children. I think that’s enough for one night.”

And slowly, as though awakening from a haze, they do. The students from other houses begin shuffling their way towards the exit, and the Gryffindors stay behind to help clean up.

“What was that all about?” James asks, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Devin put Amortentia in the vial that Sirius drinks from during the final scene of the show,” Lily explains quietly. “I think he’s about to get expelled.”

“Bloody hell,” James breathes, running a hand through his hair. “How are you feeling, Padfoot?”

But Sirius is only looking at Remus, his brows turned upwards at the center of his face. He wrings his hands. “I’m so sorry, Moony - I-”

Remus runs forwards and hugs him. “You have _nothing_ to be sorry for,” he says firmly. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Sirius tenses for a moment, and then wraps his arms around Remus, hugging him back with fervor. “I know,” he mutters, and Remus gets the sense that he’s saying it more to himself than to anyone else that might be listening. “Hey, Moony?” He pulls back after a while, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. “I’m too exhausted to walk upstairs. Can we have another sleepover on the couch?”

Remus smiles slightly. “Of course we can.”

**11:23 pm**

And so they do. Once they finish helping to clean up the common room, and the rest of the Gryffindors have gone upstairs to sleep, they settle down on the couch together and stare up at the ceiling, just like they did on a night not so long ago. Remus puts his arm around Sirius, and the other boy curls into him, fitting their bodies together underneath the warm blanket.

“Sucks that we can’t see the stars,” Sirius says.

Remus rests his chin on the top of the shorter boy’s head. “They’re still there, though, even when you can’t see them. Like me.”

Sirius snorts, nuzzling into Remus’ neck. “That’s some sappy bullshit and you know it.”

“Yeah, well.” Remus shrugs slightly. “I’m warming up to all this sappy bullshit stuff.”

They’re quiet for a while after that, until Sirius speaks up again. “I have my answer.”

“Hmm?”

“To the question that you asked me in the broom closet,” Sirius says, pushing himself up on one elbow, “about what’s on the other side of the sky.”

“Yeah?” Remus murmurs. “And what great conclusion did you come to? What is on the other side of the sky?”

“Nothing,” Sirius states definitively. “Or nothing that I care about, at the very least. And would you like to know why?” Remus nods, and Sirius looks up at him fiercely, staring him straight in the eyes. Blue into brown. Brown into blue. “Because everything I need is right here,” he says, “on this side of the sky.”

Remus just looks at him, his face splitting into a grin. “That’s some sappy bullshit and you know it.”

“Oh, shut up and kiss me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and make my day :)


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